After talking with a few friends at the weekend about my blog I realised that with my positive birth experience comes others vulnerability, intimidation and some defensiveness and this worried me because that is definitely not the reason I have started this blog. I wanted to share how amazed I was at what a womans body can achieve. How positive thinking has such a MAJOR input in the outcome, not just for birth but many other purposes. And how it seems we are taught not really to ask questions about our labour. So I wanted others to feel informed, or at least give them the permission to ask questions and feel confident in their awesome pregnant or mothering selves.
But it’s not just the birthing aspect that I want people to realise I’m not judging on. Its the WHOLE natural, organic, yoga mummy life that I myself am only striving to achieve. We are definitely not perfect in this household. Yes I am now a bit yoga obsessed and get out of bed at midnight to practice my crow pose, but I also just sat in front of the TV eating about a kilo of chocolate that really wasn’t organic. Yes I like to cook and have chosen a vegetarian life, but when I was pregnant I so badly fancied fish and chips at the pub that there and then I became pescetarian instead!
For me hypnobirthing was about having a positive focus and it totally worked for me and so many other women in our calm birth school community. Many of these ladies didn’t have a 100% natural-all-smiling-and-silent-meditative birth. But it gave them a focus, they were able to stay CALM because they were in control of either their bodies or the decision making or both! Whether it was “Yes I agree with you, lets go down for the c-section” or “No thank you for offering me an induction I’ll wait”, the hypnobirthing gave them knowledge and power and confidence (and probably a little wobble in between which is so FINE) to make their own decisions.
My sister for example, wasn’t a believer. She was definitely more of a ‘lets just get on with this birth’ type of person. Now for some reason she thinks I’m the messiah. Not really, but she has completely been brought round to the idea of hypnobirthing and positive birthing when the time is right for her, which is amazing. At the same time jokingly, she has said to me, “When I end up asking for all those drugs you’re going to be so ashamed of me”. Which is awful! (And funny) I’m already totally NOT ashamed of her however her future births turn out, even more importantly, I’m so PROUD of her that she would open her mind to even consider trying to have a different attitude towards birth. That’s all it’s about. Listen, research, open your mind, do what feels right for you.
Just because I don’t think we should share stories about who had the most horrific birth, it doesn’t mean I think women should get gold medals for who had the most pain free one either. So I’m not the messiah, I’m most definitely not perfect or an expert on birth. These are just my experiences and my opinions because I listened, opened my mind and did what felt right FOR ME.
However swollen you feel, however daunted you are about getting a baby out, and however the baby comes out- you are fucking awesome!