Is it unnatural to find out the sex of your baby? A bit weird maybe, or even tempting bad fate? This is what I’m thinking when it comes to potentially finding out the sex of baby number 3 this week…
With my first two babies it was a no brainer to me. Why would I find out whether I’m having a girl or a boy. I wasn’t fussed either way and this is a momentous occasion that you never get to relive. The ‘what have you just had?’ moment. The suspense of family and friends awaiting your birth announcements. The holding onto to something precious, sacred and secret that you are growing inside you for 10 months. There’s plenty of time after that of having to share this bundle and almost everything that comes with it.
Something else that sits on my mind (and hopefully without too much judgement!) is that I’ve always found it weird!! That people know a baby’s sex, then name, and sometimes even date and time of birth (though sometimes that cannot be helped obviously) before it’s even entered the world. And as someone that has given birth I stand by the fact that though you may start to think/refer to ‘Jimmy’ in your uterus and feel like you’re bonding, the reality is that when your baby arrives you don’t know them, they are not ‘Jimmy’. They have quirks and personalities that you start to learn from the first moments, days, weeks and even years that they are earth side . Though after a quick trusty ‘insta’ poll some of you said it DID help so who am I to know! That being said pre-natal bonding IS important but not in the same sense of already allocating baby it’s name and identity- another topic entirely!
It may then be of no suprise to you that I’m of the school of it not feeling ‘natural’ to me.
It just doesn’t seem like natures way to me, artificial almost and just quite unnecessary (along with the scary 4D scans- anyone with me on that one??). I don’t enjoy surprises either so that doesn’t seem to be an element.
But when you get to baby number 3, there is an element of pressure; with 2 boys already, of course I’m sure everyone is expecting/hoping for a pink one. There is a bizarre concept in society that if you are ‘lucky’ enough to have had one of each, you can call it a day. So no, we are not having number 3 in the hope of getting a ‘pink one’.
So why are we now thinking about finding out the sex of this baby?
Firstly, it is not to be ‘organised’; I am so not a pink or blue person ( and in fact the whole girls section of Next is banned in this household should it be a girl FYI). I’d be so happy for my whole brood to be in grey, unisex clothes. Including me to be honest…
It’s not because I need to mentally prepare myself for another boy; in fact quite the opposite. I’m more worried about my reaction should we find out it’s a boy this week vs not giving a shit whether you’ve given birth to an alien once labour is over. And lets be honest after a labour, however positive it may be- you are just happy to have given birth and that whatever it is is healthy (sorry to be cliche..).
Having a girl actually scares me more than another boy; In reality I’ve prepared myself for another boy. Though it does worry me about whether it’s possible to be a mum of boys and remain ‘cool’ or keep up with the trends. Would it be all scrunchies, the same hair do and tracksuit bottoms for the rest of my life??? Not to mention I KNOW what myself and many other girls were like as teenagers (i.e. quite unpleasant) and how hard a girls relationship can be with her mother. My own has told me she would love for me to experience a mum-daughter relationship, though I suspect it’s more from a karmic angle.
So really it’s kind of Gigi that put this idea in my head; It wasn’t until after we hadn’t found out with Hux that he announced he would have quite liked to have known and that bonding for him may have been different. While I don’t think this is the case for me I would love to see if he can experience that prenatally and who knows, perhaps it would surprise me in how I actually feel about this last pregnancy?
So… the question remains open for the next few days while we make a firm decision. Stay tuned on what we decide to do. What would you do? To find out or to keep a sacred element of pregnancy and birth just that… sacred?